THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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