you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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