Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
