me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
