i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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