I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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