If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
