so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
