do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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