there was a trapeze. enough said
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I lost the right to judge tonight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
