Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
