Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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