Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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