So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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