I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
