my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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