I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
