I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
