i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
