I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
