No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
