I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
