How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
