She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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