this boner is exhausting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
