I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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