I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
