dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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