your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
