i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
