hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
