I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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