Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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