This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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