I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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