do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
