Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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