I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
