Got a toothbrush?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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