the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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