they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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