I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
