i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
