he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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