Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
