So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
