This is not my ceiling
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
