i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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