My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
