It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
