i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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