They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
