I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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