Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My dick has a subreddit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
