I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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