Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
