If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
