All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
