i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
