you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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