Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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