Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
