he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
